The Greeting

Dearest First Lady,

I hope this letter finds you well, perhaps enjoying a moment's peace amidst the whirlwind that is the White House! I'm writing today with a tale that sounds like it came straight out of a particularly dramatic telenovela, involving none other than your husband's former fiercest defender, Marjorie Taylor Greene. Apparently, the warrior congresswoman is hanging up her MAGA hat, and let me tell you, the reason is juicier than a peach cobbler fresh out of the oven.

The Situation

So, picture this: Marjorie Taylor Greene, the woman who once seemed surgically attached to President Trump's hip, is leaving Congress a year early! It seems the alliance has shattered faster than a dropped teacup. The breaking point? Well, it all comes down to Jeffrey Epstein. Our dear MTG stood up for victims, asking for the Epstein files to be released. And what did our dear President do? He allegedly called her a traitor! A traitor! Can you imagine? It's like finding out your favorite baker suddenly hates cookies. She claims this, along with pipe bomb threats and death threats against her son (yikes!), pushed her out. She’s declared she won't be anyone’s “battered wife” anymore. Honestly, First Lady, it’s a plot twist worthy of a Netflix special.

Dear, Please Help

Oh, First Lady, do tell the President to perhaps take a deep breath and maybe… just maybe… consider the diplomatic implications of calling your most ardent supporters 'traitors'? Perhaps a calming cup of chamomile tea is in order for him. And for Marjorie? Maybe a very, very strong cup of coffee and a well-deserved nap. I'd suggest sending her a care package filled with fuzzy socks and perhaps a strongly worded letter to him, but I suspect that might just escalate things. Maybe just a gentle reminder that calling people names can sometimes have… consequences? It’s all very dramatic, isn't it?